Teaching Independence in Toddlers and Preschoolers
Building independence in a toddler or preschool aged child is beneficial for many reasons. If you are a parent of a toddler or preschooler, I am sure you would agree, what your “three-nager” lacks in independence, they make up for in attitude! Children of this age have big and strong emotions and an abundance of will power with the ability to focus on one thing, what they want. Often-times when a child of this age is completing tasks, their desire to complete a task independently does not match their skill set leading to frustration for both child and parent.
Building independence for a child takes time
One thing that parents struggle with is a lack of time. There is never enough time in the day to run a household, a family and get your work commitments done. Right now, as we are in the middle of a global pandemic, we have a greater amount of time on our hands. Use this time as an opportunity to help build independence in your toddler. Your efforts now will reap rewards later. As your child learns to become more independent, your time will be freed up to focus on other commitments.
Greater independence builds a sense of accomplishment and pride
Increased independence for a toddler or preschooler builds a sense of accomplishment and pride. As young children learn to become more responsible and capable, we simultaneously prepare them for the next phase in their life, their schooling years.
Prior to becoming a baby sleep consultant, I taught in numerous early childhood and primary aged classrooms throughout the world. I was always amazed to see the correlation between a child’s independence and their willingness to learn and engage in their environment. Your child does not need to be completely independent with basic life tasks prior to starting school, however, increasing their abilities to be self-sufficient will see an increase in their confidence.
Increase your child’s independence through household jobs
One of the first places to start with building independence is to get your children to help you complete daily household jobs. Children want to be just like their parents! Use their desire to be like you and encourage them to help you do jobs around the house.
My eldest daughter loves to complete jobs around the house including tidy up our shoes and watering the garden. Some of her favourite jobs include playing Mum to her younger sister. She will help dispose of her sister’s nappies and loves to help Mummy clear her baby sister’s nose with the Snotty Boss nasal aspirator. She has even begun to recognise when her sister’s nose needs to be cleaned and will grab the nasal aspirator wanting to help use it. Knowing she is completing jobs that help Mummy, Daddy and her baby sister out gives her great joy.
The reason for using the term ‘job’ oppose to ‘work’ is the term work can quickly have a negative connotation to it. In life, everyone has jobs to do and when your toddler or preschooler realise ‘their jobs’ are important just like yours, they will help-out, all the while building their independence.
To get you started with increasing your child’s independence, I have created a daily and weekly job list. Your toddler or preschooler can follow the visuals on the list and complete their jobs around your home. Download the daily and weekly job lists below.
Positive encouragement and patience
In the beginning, you will need to provide support to your little one when completing the list of jobs. Demonstrate several times exactly what it is you want your little one to achieve by breaking the task down step by step. Once your child’s confidence starts to grow, pull back on the amount of support you provide allowing them to fully complete the job on their own.
Parents will need to exercise a lot of patience their children learn to develop these new independent skills. Be sure to celebrate your toddler or preschoolers’ accomplishments, as little, or as big as they may seem. The positive encouragement will help minimise your child’s frustrations and keep them motivated to master their new independent skills. Remember to have fun! When children develop a sense of fun with completing jobs around the house, opposed to viewing them as a daily chore, they will be more willing to help-out.
